Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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