I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
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I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
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all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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