I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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