I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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