his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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