I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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