i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all