i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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