It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize