you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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