Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
