No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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