I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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