bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
