It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize