A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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