How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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