Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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