he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
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I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
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Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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