there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ladies don't puke and tell
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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