I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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