im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.