I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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