The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize