Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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