You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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