I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize