i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
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Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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