Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize