Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize