: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I will die if light touches me.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
