Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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