omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
