Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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