So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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