she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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