Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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