i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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