your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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