I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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