I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
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So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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