took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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