Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
