I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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