When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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