I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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