look no pants
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
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he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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