I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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