Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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