I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
